Strategies that can help you adjust to life changes

Change happens at every stage in our lives. Sometimes it's welcome and other times less so. But do we tend to face more change as we get older? And what life skills can help us adapt to physical and emotional changes in a positive and healthy way?

We chatted to Sue Brown, a life and personal performance coach specialising in proactive change mindsets, to find answers to these questions and more.

Sue, when we talk about change, what do we mean? Is it small changes? Big changes? Or can it be both?

It can be both – and it depends on the individual. Things impact us in a different way. Some of us might take change in our stride and others might feel like it's a huge obstacle.

And would you say we lose our ability to adapt to change as we get older?

We might feel it's too late to make change for ourselves – but it's not. We might need help to identify what change we need and to start planning for it. And we might have a lot of responsibilities to consider. It can be hard to get your head around what's going to work for you and your loved ones.

Or maybe you've had change foisted on you by circumstance. When you think your life's going in one direction and then suddenly it's not, it can be confusing and difficult to navigate.

Would you say our attitude impacts our ability to adapt to change?

You do have to work at it. You might be holding on to beliefs that are holding you back. But as much as you might want to fight change, it’s going to happen. If you can learn to accept it, it will help you move on to new things. It's an opportunity to learn and to grow.

Do you have any examples of people who’ve faced change and been able to adapt to it in the way you're describing?

I'm a living example of this. I was in my 50s, I had a great job, good friends, gorgeous family and grandkids, a roof over my head. So much to be grateful for – and I was. But I wasn't entirely happy – there was something missing.

I discovered coaching and decided that was what I wanted to do. Changes were being made at work that didn't fit with what I wanted. So I thought, well, if not now, when am I going to do this?

So I did what I needed to do to qualify as a coach and start my own business. It was a huge decision: I had to work through all the what-ifs and the self-doubt to reach that point. But once I'd made it, I felt lighter and more in control – and it was literally the best thing I ever did.

What about someone who’s feeling isolated because they're going through changes? Could they benefit from extra support?

I think a lot of people do feel isolated in different ways. It's very easy then to fall into a habit of negative self-talk and not looking after your own needs. Maybe you're feeling stuck in your situation and don't know how to move forward. Or you're struggling with stress and feeling overwhelmed or burnt out. That’s the time to look for support from friends, family, colleagues – or professional help.

In what ways can those people help someone adapt to change?

They can make a huge difference. Friends and family can be there to listen to a loved one and encourage them to change and develop themselves. Just listening is one of the best things you can do. Don't judge, be kind, give people space and time. We're all different and we all work through things in our own way, so be patient. That's really key.

Communities can provide support for people going through changes later in life. Often finding other people who are going through similar change – or have been through it – can be invaluable.

But sometimes it might be about making some time for yourself. It might be just half an hour a day to have a bath or read a book. It might be a weekly yoga class, gardening or volunteering. Whatever it is, make it happen and make it work for you.

What would you say to someone who doesn’t feel ready to see a life coach but would still benefit from some tips about taking care of themselves?

There’s a lot you can do for yourself. I would say the first thing is to listen to your inner voice – that bit of you that sometimes gets buried under all the day-to-day stuff. Make time to think about what you need and what's holding you back. Try replacing negative thoughts with positive ones and see what that does to how you feel and your own energy.  It sounds simplistic but it does work.

Then take action – set yourself a goal and break it into manageable chunks. Focus on making a little progress each day, and be patient with yourself. But also be persistent and keep going.

Finally, if someone decided to see a life coach, what would a session look like and what might they expect to get out of it?

What you get out of coaching will depend on your relationship with the coach and what you’re prepared to put into it. What it does give you is time and space to talk about something important to you with someone who has absolutely no bias or judgment about it. It also helps you stay on track with your goals and plans.

Every session is different and that's what I love about it. It's led by the client. A coach doesn't ever offer advice – the client has the answer within them. We help by giving them the time to say things they might not say to other people. And we ask sometimes quite powerful questions that help them form in their own minds what they need and how to get it.

A lot of coaching happens online these days. I think we've all got used to that over the past years and it's quite convenient. But many coaches like me offer face-to-face coaching as well, or on the phone. We’ll even take a walk around the park if the weather's up to it and that's what you feel like doing!

For more inspiration and guides to later life, including profiles of people who learned new languages and started new careers in their 50s and beyond, check out our Useful Articles.

For more about Sue and her life-coaching business, visit thecrossroadscoaching.com or look her up on Facebook and Instagram